jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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