Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
