Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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