they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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