HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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