umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
