You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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