remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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