We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
