I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
