Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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