Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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