Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
