Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
