ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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