Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Send help, water and tortillas.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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