Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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