She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
