she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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