I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
