There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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