Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
