First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize