he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
