The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
