Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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