i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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