We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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