Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Green mimosas i think yes
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
