Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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