Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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