I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
My bed smells like the plague
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
