I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
