so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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