I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
