i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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