Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
