4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
