turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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