We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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