I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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