More tranny stories later!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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