I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The air taste purple.
Randomize
