After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
