every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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