i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize