OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize