Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
