she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
