you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
so let's talk penis.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
