You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
