Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
