We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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