Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
