I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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