I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
