Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
