I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
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its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
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ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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