Pappa wants mamma naked
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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