Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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